The dating sim genre is known for ranging from serious and sensual to kooky and silly, and the newindieentry,Date Everything!, certainly falls into the latter category. Dating your wall, air fryer, and piano might not sound immediately enticing. Still, when these typically inanimate objects can transform into attractive people with brilliant voice acting, it somehow isn’t quite as far-fetched. This game is weirdly wonderful, and although it isn’t perfect, it has enough positive features to make it easy to overlook any flaws.
Date Everything!is a game that feels like just about everyone I know has had on their radar for a long time, with many anticipating it tobecome their game of the year. Sure,its unique qualities produce a level of curiosity about how this could work, but even beyond that is the star-studded castthat is behind it. Robbie Daymond, Ray Chase, Amanda Hufford, and Max Mittelman are the brains behind this operation, having created a new development studio called Sassy Chap Games. They leveraged their voice-acting connections to secure an incredible roster of talent to contribute.
What Date Everything! Is Actually About
Yes, There Is A Story Behind Dating Appliances
Breaking it down to its most basic premise,Date Everything!is a game where dating your microwave, or any other random object in your house, is totally normal. At least, it becomes normal enough for the protagonist much more quickly than I think it would for me. After a very brief first (and only) day at a new job, the player’s character mysteriously receives a pair of glasses. Without spoiling anything, I think it is safe to say that these are not ordinary glasses, but actually a prototype of Dateviators.
In this context, the term “date” officially stands for “Directly Acknowledge a Thing’s Existence”.
Using the Dateviators, players can nowinteract with otherwise boring objects around the house, seeing them as peoplewith unique personalities and problems. Sure, you can fall in love with most of them, but in this context, the term “date” officially stands for “Directly Acknowledge a Thing’s Existence”, which makes the dating portion of the dating sim much more open to interpretation.
After receiving the Dateviators,the protagonist starts receiving messages from someone only known as “Tinfoilhat"who seems to be behind the situation. The powerful corporate leader, David Most, as well as possibly the government, is looking for these glasses now. Other than Tinfoilhat, the only person to know what is happening is the protagonist’s best friend, Sam, who also seems to accept everything much too quickly considering what is happening. Personally, if a friend of mine started saying this was happening to them, I would be tempted to seek mental health services for them.
Through these messages with Tinfoilhat, David Most, and Sam, the story behind the story is unfolded. Happily, whatever seems to be happening outside their house, the protagonist seems to have all the time in the world to wander around their home, talking to the walls and dirty laundry. Just be careful not to step out of the front door.
Choose Between Love, Friendship, Or Hate With Each Dateable
Although Sometimes The Choice Seems Made For You
With the Dateviator glasses on,players can talk to 100 fully voice-acted characters representing the floor, ceiling, and everything in between. to see one of these objects as a person, you need only wear the glasses while shooting out some heart rays at the item and the human form will appear. Sometimes this form will make sense, such as the bodyguard-like man representing the door. Other times, the character that springs to life is completely unexpected in perfectly hilarious and satirical ways.
While talking to these NPCs,players have dialog options that pop up, which range from flirtatious to confrontational, and nearly always add even more humor to the situation. Each character will ultimately end up with the player either having a relationship status of Love, Friends, or Hate. How you choose to interact in these dialog options will guide the course of the relationship, at least in most cases. There are a few characters where you don’t really get a say in the matter before they suddenly share their feelings with you… (looking at you, Wallace).
A Content Aware System Keeps The Game Comfy, Cozy, And Trigger-Free
Easily Decide What Types Of Storylines You’d Rather Skip
Over the course of meeting the 100 strikingly different dateable characters, there are quite a few who have storylines or personalities touching on content that could be potentially triggering for many players.To keep the game cheerful and fun for all, a Content Aware system isbuilt into the Dateviators, which provides warnings and allows players to skip any concerning interactions easily.
When you first meet a potentially triggering Dateable, Skylar Specs (the Dateviator’s human form) will appear and not only warn that there is danger but explain exactly what type of trigger it involves. Whether it involves abuse, mental health, stalking, or other reasons,the alert describes very briefly what could be seen if a player chooses to continueseeing that character’s storyline. Then, if players choose to skip that NPC, they have a chance to immediately resolve the relationship as either Love, Friends, or Hate.
The Voice Actors Make This Game Come To Life
Along With Inanimate Objects Coming To Life
The majority of the game involves talking with these everyday household objects in their human forms and seeing where their storylines lead. Some may be quite calming and cozy, like the couch, Koa. Others are ridiculously fun and chaotic, such as Luke Nuke’m, the microwave. But whatever type of personality exists inside these objects, there is always a fantastic voice actor behind them.
As a massive fan ofCritical Role,Dimension 20, and, of course, video games, I found myself able to recognize several of these talented voices. Ashley Johnson, my favorite star, voices Beau the box. Matthew Mercer is quite fittingly the 20-sided die on the protagonist’s desk. Brennan Lee Mulligan brings the board games in the attic to life.Troy Baker, Aimee Carrero, Christian Navarro, Neil Newbon, and so many more are listed among the game’s cast.
With each new character, I found myself just as excited to see who the voice was as I was seeing what the character was like. Somehow, this didn’t end up breaking the immersion ofDate Everything!but actually added to my enjoyment.
There Were A Few Things I Didn’t Like, But Nothing Too Serious
Dateviator Glasses Can Only Do So Much, I Suppose
Though I loveDate Everything!for its puns, chaotic storylines, and creativity, there were certainly some issues that I came across.It should be noted that I was playing an advanced copyprior to thefull release ofDate Everything!so little glitches such as a buzzing sound in the Date-A-Dex and other minor technical problems may be corrected before launch.
However, there were other minor complaints I had that are more likely to remain. For instance,each in-game day players can only talk to five dateables. While this makes sense in situations where a long storyline is playing out, there are several times when I felt like one of my five charges was wasted due to clicking on a character who simply didn’t want to talk that day or had repeat dialogue.
There is a S.P.E.C. skill tree type of feature inDate Everything!which becomes quite important as the story progresses, but was more confusing than it seems like it should be.Through building relationships with characters, the player gains skill points in either Charm, Sass, Empathy, Smarts, or Poise.However, from my experience, it felt as though my dialog choices had little to nothing to do with where the resulting point would land. Perhaps this was my own misunderstanding of the system, but in the late game, it did cause a few headaches.
Date Everything! Is A Dating Sim That Blends Drama And Comedy Well
And It’s Just Plain Fun To See What Will Happen Next
Regardless of those minor gripes,Date Everything!made me fall in love with the game itself. The humor is perfectly placed and even gave some literal laugh-out-loud moments while playing, with puns, chaos, and simply ridiculous situations. Yet, dramatic or emotionally heavy moments are treated respectfully, allowing player choices in either the Content Aware or dialog options to dictate how much will be shown. Even the overarching narrative of the game was surprisingly much more in-depth, though still unbelievable and silly, than I had expected.
Date Everything!may not be a game for everyone, but I would certainly recommend it to anyone who is curious and has a good sense of humor.
Reviewed on the PS5
Screen Rantwas provided with a digital PS5 code for the purpose of this review.Date Everything!is available on June 18, 2025.
